Let's face it: feedback is unsettling. If you are anything like me, you are laser-focused on your weaknesses and, more importantly, on how to improve on them. But I think we might have this all wrong... Focusing exclusively on our weaknesses feeds the feelings that we are never enough. And Jia Jiang has already reminded us that rejection (read: bad feedback) is merely an opinion. Plus no one can do everything perfectly and trying to leads to a very unhappy existence (more on that later!). While it is important to be aware of our weaknesses - for team-building and damage control purposes, we can be incredibly more effective if we aware of and capitalize on our strengths.
What are strengths, you may ask?
Marcus Buckingham & Donald Clifton explore this concept in their book Now, Discover Your Strengths, but here are the highlights:
- A strength is defined as "consistent, near perfect performance in an activity"
- Witnessing strengths-in-practice often "stimulates a feeling of awe"
- Strengths are built upon a cultivation of your natural talents; they are created from raw materials
- Natural talents are defined as your "areas of greatest potential;" however, talent alone is value neutral - you've got to act!
- In order to build your strengths, identify your natural talents & refine them with knowledge & skills
The idea of strength-building reminded me of the scarcity/abundance dichotomy - two very different worldviews that filter the way we see and experience our lives. Here are the key differences between scarcity and abundance:
A strengths-based approach to value creation is inherently abundant - there is unlimited opportunity for individuals to flourish by honing their unique set of natural talents. This is a positive-sum game where more than one skill set is welcome. Individuals and organizations win when we start to operate from the assumption that each member of our team has a different but valuable perspective to offer. We need more self actualized individuals to come together to solve the challenging problems we are facing today. I think it's time we give our strengths a little more energy.
p.s. if you're interested in this concept, Buckingham and Clifton offer an online assessment that identifies your top five natural talents (with purchase of their book Now, Discover Your Strengths).
p.p.s. here are two great resources on the subject of feedback: Brene Brown's engaged feedback checklist & Tara Mohr's loving reminders about feedback.