In early July, I traveled to Portland for the World Domination Summit - an annual event that celebrates community, service, and adventure. The conference explores an important question - how can we live remarkable lives in a conventional world? But I was more interested in this question - how do I define success on my own terms? The speakers varied in background and discipline, but every single one of them touched on fear - how it shows up & the role it can play in our lives.

Fear can be incredibly debilitating. It has the power to crush our beautiful dreams in a matter of minutes with all of the what ifs? and who do you think you ares?. The funny thing is that we often buy into the idea that fear serves us - that fear is a faithful protector who encourages us to be realistic about our desires and ambitions. BUT Donald Miller summed it up best:

Fear is a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life.

If we are flirting with a personal or professional change, fear is typically the first voice that shows up in our self talk. It paints change as an imminent threat and encourages us to keep on keeping on. It's a fierce advocate of the status quo and offers endless reasons why our new initiative is destined to fail. Therefore, recognizing fear and observing how it manifests in our self talk and actions are key to creating lasting change in our lives. Behind the voice of fear lies insecurity. Here's an example:

Dream: I want to become a CEO.

Fear (via self talk):What makes you any more qualified than the next person to become a CEO? You're not as naturally smart as others, you just work hard. Look at Sally, she deserves it more than you do. You're a slacker. You just happened to get a lucky break, but soon everyone will realize that you're not as smart as they had originally thought.

Insecurity: Self doubt concerning intelligence

How motivated would this internal monologue leave you to keep pushing ahead? Umm...yeah, not so excited about that big dream anymore.

However, if you noticed, the fear-based thoughts are much more threatening than the insecurity itself. By identifying our insecurities, we can go straight to the source and focus on the underlying premise that is encouraging fear to act out. That being said, working with our insecurities requires tremendous self compassion. Be gentle with yourself! Every human being battles insecurities - although they may look different from person to person.

The next time you're entertaining a change, remember: